Have you ever wandered why we say we are making peace with something? My guess is because it is speaking of something that we have to choose to make happen. That it is not a peace given by someone else or felt on its own, but that we have made a conscious effort to be at peace. Well, today I think I will do that.
While in the car, as I am so often, I began really thinking about this journey we have been on with our local county in the adoption process. So many times I have wanted to ask for money so that I could just use a private agency. An agency that truly puts the childs needs first, an agency that can provide permanant placement right off the bat , and an agency that I can have some control over. BUT, today I finally made peace with our decision. Not because I have accepted all that they believe in,not because I have accepted the fact that we cant afford a private agency, but because I believe it is exactly where God wants us to be. Everything about this agency scares me. From the fact that most children in this system are coming from very broken families, down to the fact that fostering is a really real possibility for us. But today once again , I was reminded that this journey IS NOT ABOUT ME! This journey is about the least of these. We came into this to help a child, not ourselves. I am willingly accepting this assignment. I know what that means. I know the likely pain I will have to experience. I know it will be a real strain on all our lives. But I also know that HE has given this assignment and he knows what the outcome will be. He knows what we can handle and what a child needs from us. I pray that I will show up for the task given. That I will not wallow in self pity, that I will remember the goal. Because I know that he will remember my goal and will grant my hearts desire in His time. Tonight I will rest knowing that He has given me a peace beyond all understanding and that I will daily choose to accept it.
May God be with you and your family!! Thank you for sharing! Love from the sampsons! Xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so excited reading your posts. I want to challenge you to stop the permanent/foster thinking. Who cares what label some crazy agency puts on the placement or referral your family is given! If you have a child come into your life they are your child. It doesn't matter if circumstances lead to them leaving your home or whatever happened in their past or whatever happens in their future, they are your child regardless. Will Chelsea be any less your child when she leaves home in a few years? (Hope that didn't just make you sad :)
ReplyDeleteIn your heart, any child you meet will become your child and God sees them in that way too. He places the orphans in families. And HE SOOOO wants to place one (or more :) in yours! Your responsibility is to be unguarded and real and love them with all that you have from the second you learn they exist. And you will do that. You won't struggle. Partly because you want it soooo bad, but mostly because this is a passion that God has placed in your heart and His strength will fill you. You are readying yourself now for that job. You don't have to defend every person that shares their misguided opinions with you to their face...pick those wisely because we can't change hearts, only God can although sometimes people need to know what their hurtful words even with the best of intentions does to others...but you can defend them in your mind and spirit. DO not believe for a minute that this will be a beautiful magical fairytale. This is life and when does it ever work like Hollywood portrays? But it will be a beautiful mess that wrecks you and gives you your heart's desires all at the same time. This time of unknown is doing just that. Think how much you are longing for this chance to parent a new child. Seems to me from reading your heart, you are almost ready. Only God knows the perfect time...but hang on I think it is soon!
Oh SO good!!!! Thank you for the reminder that it truly is NOT about us... but about focusing on the 'job' He has called us to do! I love you, friend! Keep pressing on...
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