One thing I have learned on this adoption journey is that the road at times is quite lonely. I am amazed by how many people have such strong opinions and have such little interest at the same time. I am dumbfounded daily by the gloom and doom stories people like to share. For every one successful adoption story , 9 disturbing adoption stories follow. I guess it's no different than every woman giving their birthing story when you are pregnant. The problem is, I already know the bad stories, and those are the ones that consume my thoughts. Everyone knows someone who has lost an adoptive child or watched an adoptive child fall away from the adoptive family. At some point I really hope the story I get to tell people doesn't even have to include the word adoptive. I want to refer to this new life in our lives as OUR child , that we are their parents, that we are just the parents God intended for this child and that we are a normal family. I am so ready for THAT title!
On so many occassions I have wanted to convince people not to worry, that I do enough of that on my own. That I really don't need anything else to think of or research, but in the end, I just carry it in my mind and never tell them how it makes me feel. One true blessing I have found unexpectedly through this is the "family" of support I do have. Now of coarse I do have my immediate family of support, as the five of us are beyond excited, but I also have a circle of friends that have come beside me in life and are carrying the burden with me. I do truly believe that He will give us the desires of our hearts, that he is strong when I am weak, that He honors the prayers of His people, and that His ways are better than my ways. BUT.... somedays, I just can't bear to udder a prayer of help and support. Sometimes just letting those words form in my head is just too difficult to think about. And on those days, boy does He show up. Today was one of those days. I received so many messages from friends today, lifting us up in prayer. What an amazing feeling to know that they are going before me , in my weakness, and asking for what I can't seem to ask on my own. No one ever truly knows the power of their words both to God and others. I wish I could put into words my gratefulness to these friends. To truly show my appreciation for their willingness to stand in the gap for me. I feel unworthy of the life God has given me the honor of living. Today I choose to believe in His faithfulness. He has shown me time and time again that he always shows up. Not always in the ways we are looking for, but if we really look, He is there. I pray that each day I will seriously consider the impact and opportunity I have to touch others lives. God is teaching me to meet people right where they are in life. That it is my responsibility. To lift my loved ones up in prayer daily and to leave the rest to Him. As much as I struggle with these lessons in life, I know my teacher has my best interest in mind and that He sees the picture much clearer than I can . So for now, I will wait and learn. His will above all else.
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