Life as we know it

I remember when I was pregnant , excited about what our new life would be like, the fun that lay ahead, the memories we would make. Then in the third trimester realizing WHAT our new life would be , the not so fun that lay ahead and if I would have any memory once that baby came out of you know where! The reality sinks in that there is no going back now, that life as we know it will no longer exist. The knowledge that you would never want to change the course of this new life, but the fear of the unknown. Well, guess what is plaguing me today? The foulest four letter F word, FEAR. Not the regular fear I have been having but the fear of change. Will I be able to spend the time with my girls that I am able to now? Will I be able to help them study when they need the extra help? Will I be able to go on dates with my hubby? Will this put a strain on our family that will pull us apart? The questions go on and on. I will tell you that there is no going back now, but I wish I could freeze my beloved family in time and perfectly place a new little one in our midst. Of course this is not how life works, and quite honestly it breaks my heart. As deeply as I want to love on a little one, I want to love on my "big ones" as I have for so long. Tonight I have no words of inspiration to share as I am in the midst of a new type of grieving. Please pray for my girls. Pray that this experience changes them to the core. That it gives them a heart for others. That they will live out their lives to care for others in His name. That this time in their lives will be positive and that they will feel deeply loved every day. Please pray for my marriage that this will draw us closer not far apart. That we will grow together in Him as we raise this family. That we will follow His purpose for our lives and our family. Pray that I will not give in to the sin of fear.